Talk to the version of yourself you know you'll become

Consistency over intensity, willpower is finite

Life at sea can be disorienting. A few months ago, a friend asked if my gambling was just a symptom of an addiction to “hard mode”. This question illuminated a consistent pattern in my life. Growing up, I often created messes just to overcome them. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way” was my guiding principle.

For years, I viewed this trait positively. It showcased resilience and determination, the Asian way. But how would you live if you realized willpower was a finite resource?

Focusing on peak intensity inevitably leads to burnout. To compensate, you turn to activities with short-term feedback loops. Long-term goals suffer. When you’re sinking, you grasp at any visible float, neglecting what lies beneath the surface.

Now, I find myself on a different boat. Consistency matters more than intensity. As I wrote previously, “real progress is the kind we can’t see, emanating from the non-negotiable routines we implement into our lives.” Rather than trying to break bad habits, concentrate on creating positive ones. Simplify to the core, and attach new behaviors to existing routines until they become part of who you are.

There are the obvious improvements to make - avoiding status games, exercising daily, optimizing sleep, eliminating alcohol, minimizing sugar. But what if we took the passive parts of life as seriously as the active ones. These are the small, intentional actions we take without expecting anything in return. The “oh, nice” moments that often slip by unnoticed. Collectively, they contribute to a sense of security and well-being. They provide a wholesome counterbalance to a lifetime of constant pushing. Be deliberate in your passivity.

The bravest thing you can do is believe in yourself, grounded in sound convictions, so you can live your life without regret. When the going gets hazy, talk to the version of yourself that you know you’ll become in a year if you stay the course. Everything becomes clearer, when you accept that it just takes time.

Life isn’t about weathering constant storms of our own making. It’s about finding balance between action and reflection, between striving and simply being. As we navigate these waters, we learn to appreciate both the turbuluence and the calm. Somewhere in between, we find our true selves.