About Me
entrepreneur's mind, athlete's body, artist's soul. over the first half of 2024, a lifetime of bad habits blew up, as i gambled away the trust that it took 20 years to build and lost millions. i exiled myself in shame, having lost friends, family, wealth, and reputation. and for that, i am infinitely grateful, because it allowed me to start becoming the person i've always wanted to be.
what would you do if one day you woke up and realized you had no credit as a human being? that it didn't matter where you went to school or where you worked, or what you did? that you suddenly became nobody, and couldn't reference your past, because it had been completely erased? how quickly could you become "somebody" again?
somewhere along the way, expectation leads us astray. gambling is the product of lies we tell ourselves, a false bridge between reality and perception. the thought that i was nearly 40 and had little resources, no hard skills, no job prospects, and nobody to lean on is terrifying. if i am to survive, it will be from the product of my creations, not the facade of my stories. want everything, have nothing; want nothing, have everything.
i often think about those whose trust i betrayed. it is so painful that i can't communicate the full depths of my heart to all those who believed in me. and i don't expect to regain their trust overnight, because if i were in their shoes, i wouldn't trust me either. but this I can say for sure: i am getting healthier, stronger, wiser, with each passing day. on the redemption arc, the paths ahead are infinite.
nothing is real if we can see the results in a day. because that's not you, that's the machine. real progress is the kind we can't see, emanating from the non-negotiable routines we implement into our lives. entrepreneur's mind, athlete's body, artist's soul.
In self exile to learn, create and regenerate.
