      /\    /\
     /  \  /  \
    /    \/    \
   /            \
  /              \
 /                
/

Three therapy sessions

Daily Journal

Today’s 10 adjectives:

Expressive
Determined
Curious
Satisfied
Grateful
Thirsty
Self-Reliant
Expansive
Content
Happy

The positive shift in my emotional state can be attributed to:

12 hours of daily technical skill development
Increased physical energy from a consistent daily routine
10 consecutive days of midday workouts
Embracing the “Entrepreneur’s Mind, Athlete’s Body, Artist’s Soul” ideal

Childhood Reflections

Challenges:

Fuzzy memories before age 13
Previous narrative of an unremarkable childhood

Revelations:

Happy, chubby childhood
Self-acceptance and pride in early years
Potential impact of maintaining childish spirit

Life Milestones

Studied for early college entry
Forced career decision, pre-law track
Law school and first year away from home
First marriage
Started professional career
First child
Second child
Near-bankruptcy
Recovery
Releapse
Divorce
Recovery
Relapse
Rebirth?

Root Causes of Gambling Addiction

Early financial success ($160k/year in first year)
Pressure to “become successful” quickly
Sole breadwinner responsibilities
Repeated narrow escapes from consequences

Reflections and Future Outlook

Importance of following curiosity and tinkering
Reframing “manchild syndrome” as missed opportunity
Embracing the freedom of lowered expectations at 38
Gratitude for a second chance with a new blueprint

Past Sessions

Session Two (August 9, 2024)

Focus: Exploring underlying beliefs driving gambling behavior

Two opposing beliefs:

“I feel lucky” (seemingly positive, but destructive)
“I cannot stay lucky” (seemingly negative, but beneficial)

Key realizations:

The pursuit of luck is self-destructive
Creating and inspiring others leads to fulfillment
Visualizing consequences reinforces positive choices

Visualization exercise insights:

“I feel lucky” → “I choose fate” → confinement and loss of agency
“I cannot stay lucky” → “I choose co-creation” → leverage and influence
The destructive path serves as a reminder to stay on course

Session One (August 2, 2024)

Focus: Addressing consistency and follow-through challenges

Key emotional revelation:

Feeling “fraudulent” due to disconnect between others’ vision and personal output
Habit of seeking shortcuts rooted in lack of confidence in building and creating

Conclusion: Growing stronger, or at the very least, more caffeinated.